PRIVACY POLICY

TL;DR: We don't give a shit about your data

The Brutally Honest Truth

Listen up, we're going to be real with you - something most privacy policies won't do. We literally DO NOT collect, store, track, or give a flying fuck about your personal data.

Why? Because we're too lazy and it's too much work.

This entire app runs in your browser. Your failures, your shame points, your pathetic achievements - they all live in YOUR browser's localStorage. We can't see them. We don't want to see them. Your failures are your own business.

What We DON'T Collect

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Personal Information: We don't know who you are and we don't care. No names, emails, phone numbers, nothing.
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Usage Data: We don't track what you click, where you go, or how many times you cry while using this app.
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Analytics: No Google Analytics, no Facebook Pixel, no tracking scripts. We're not watching you fail.
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IP Addresses: We don't log them. (That warning in the console is just to scare away hackers - we're not actually logging shit).

Your Browser's LocalStorage

Everything about your pathetic journey is stored locally in YOUR browser:

• Your randomly generated username (because we don't want your real name)
• Your shame points and failure count
• Your sad achievements and badges
• Your streak of disappointments

This means: Clear your browser data = Clear your shame. It's like it never happened.

We can't access this data. Your browser owns it. If you switch browsers or devices, you start fresh. Consider it a chance to fail all over again.

Cookies

We use ONE cookie. ONE. It stores your username so you don't lose your progress between sessions. That's it.

No tracking cookies. No advertising cookies. No third-party cookies. No chocolate chip cookies (unfortunately).

Don't like it? Use incognito mode and start fresh every time like the commitment-phobe you probably are.

Third Parties

We don't share your data with third parties because WE DON'T HAVE YOUR DATA.

No advertisers. No data brokers. No shadowy corporations. No government agencies (they have better things to do than watch you fail at life).

The only third party involved is the AI that roasts you, and even that doesn't store your conversations. Each roast is stateless - like your willpower.

Security

Your data is as secure as your browser. If someone has access to your computer, they can see your shameful failure statistics. Maybe don't use this at work.

We've implemented some basic security to keep script kiddies out, but honestly, if someone really wants to hack an app that insults them, they probably need therapy more than they need your failure data.

Your Rights

You have ALL the rights because YOU have ALL the data:

• Right to Delete: Clear your browser data. Boom. Gone.
• Right to Access: Open DevTools (if you can get past our blocks). It's all there.
• Right to Portability: Copy your localStorage. Paste it somewhere. We don't care.
• Right to be Forgotten: We already forgot you existed.

Questions?

If you have questions about this privacy policy, you're overthinking it. We don't collect data. End of story.

But if you really need to reach out, check my GitHub. Don't expect a response though - I'm probably failing at something myself.

LAST UPDATED: August 2025

This policy will never change because we'll never start collecting your data. We're consistently lazy like that.

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