The legal shit that protects us from you
By accessing or using the Failure Coach application ("Service"), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service ("Terms"). If you disagree with any part of these terms, then you may not access the Service. If you're too lazy to read this, that's on you.
BY USING THIS SERVICE, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ARE A CONSENTING ADULT WHO CAN HANDLE BEING ROASTED BY AN AI AND WON'T CRY TO YOUR LAWYER ABOUT IT.
Failure Coach is a satirical entertainment application that provides demotivational content, roasting, and brutal honesty about your life choices. It is NOT:
This is entertainment. If you need real help, get a real therapist.
You agree to:
All content, features, and functionality of this Service are and will remain the exclusive property of MuddySheep and its licensors. The Service is protected by copyright, trademark, and other laws. Our content may not be used without express written consent.
Stealing our code or content will result in legal action and we'll roast you in court.
© 2025 MuddySheep. All rights reserved. Seriously, we mean it.
You may NOT:
Violation will result in immediate termination and potential legal action.
THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" WITHOUT ANY WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND.
We make no warranties that:
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHALL MUDDYSHEEP BE LIABLE FOR:
OUR TOTAL LIABILITY SHALL NOT EXCEED $0.00 USD.
You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless MuddySheep and its affiliates from and against any claims, liabilities, damages, judgments, awards, losses, costs, expenses, or fees arising out of or relating to your violation of these Terms or your use of the Service.
In other words: If you do something stupid, that's your problem, not ours.
We may terminate or suspend your access immediately, without prior notice or liability, for any reason whatsoever, including without limitation if you breach the Terms.
You can also terminate by simply closing your browser and never coming back. We won't miss you.
These Terms shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the United States, without regard to its conflict of law provisions. Any legal action must be brought in the courts located in the United States.
If you try to sue us, we'll countersue for wasting our time.
We reserve the right to modify or replace these Terms at any time. If we make changes, we won't notify you because we assume you won't read them anyway.
Your continued use of the Service constitutes acceptance of any changes.
If you have any questions about these Terms (which you shouldn't, they're pretty clear), you can find me on GitHub.
But honestly, I probably won't respond. I'm too busy failing at my own life.
EFFECTIVE DATE: August 2025
BY USING THIS SERVICE, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE READ, UNDERSTOOD, AND AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THESE TERMS OF SERVICE.
If you don't agree, there's the door 👉 🚪